Negotiations are often framed as exercises in persuasion, collaboration, and mutual problem-solving. Yet in many…
Moving from Debate to Dialogue
Moving from Debate to Dialogue
I’ve been reading a book that I’ve found is very aligned with my thinking that I would like to share. This is excerpted by from Leading through Conflict: How Successful Leaders Transform Differences into Opportunities. Copyright 2006 Mark Gerzon;
| Debate | Dialogue |
| Assuming that there is a right answer, and that you have it | Assuming that many people have pieces of the answer |
| Combative: participants attempt to prove the other side wrong | Collaborative: participants work together toward common understanding |
| About winning | About exploring common ground |
| Listening to find flaws and make counter-arguments | Listening to understand, find meaning and agreement |
| Defending our own assumptions as truth | Revealing our assumptions for re-evaluation |
| Seeing two sides of an issue | Seeing all sides of an issue |
| Defending one’s own views against those of others | Admitting that others’ thinking can improve one’s own. |
| Searching for flaws and weaknesses in others’ positions | Searching for strengths and value in others’ positions |
| By creating a winner and a loser, discouraging further discussion | Keeping the topic even after the discussion formally ends |
| Seeking a conclusion or vote that ratifies your position | Discovering new options, not seeking closure |
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